The Broken Places

This week started off like every other....promises of a new week, a busy schedule, and the excitement of being a little closer to sharing a secret, that looking back now I am glad we kept to our self, only for it to fall apart before it even began.

Scott and I were 7 weeks pregnant, expecting our third child but like too many of the other pregnancies it ended with nothing but an empty womb and heavy heart.

Before we had Matalie we went through this a few times and the doctors wanted to bring us in for genetic testing. After being able to carry her full term we thought everything was ok but the outcome of this weeks doctors visit is putting us back in the same boat and claiming our little lady's existence is nothing short of a miracle.

At the moment we are just taking time to let our hearts heal before we decide the next step we want to take. I wish I could say enduring this time and time again has made it easier but I would be lying. This week has left me broken and your prayers for our family are greatly appreciated.

Let The Sunshine In

Since I have been on my own my home decor has consisted of the deep red, chocolate brown, and olive greens....in every room. Don't get me wrong, it is a great color scheme but after a while the dark colors started wearing on me. I wanted a brighter outlook on life and with it a brighter home, but when all your decor is the same color how do you switch it up with out spending a fortune???

The answer???

Lots of spray paint and scrapbook paper :)

I have been working on project brighten up for a while now and everything is finally starting to come together. here are a couple of befores and afters....

Living Room Before



Living Room After

Dinning Room Before

Dinning Room After

Foyer Before

Foyer After

Master Bath Before And After

And Now My Favorite Before/After

The Playroom/School Room Before



Playroom/School Room After

He is captivated...by me

My child, I wish you could see you through My eyes...

You are beautiful...so beautiful

The purpose inside of you?

Greater than you could possibly imagine

Let go of the things you are so desperately holding on to

Let go and cling to Me

I want nothing more than to be your Light in the darkness

Oh how I long to pull on the greatness I have planted inside of you

How I crave your voice singing My praises

There is no sweeter sound...

My child, can't you see how you captivate Me?

I am so in love with you

And if you were the only one, I would have laid it down all the same

Because you are worthy...

Worthy of this unconditional love

Nothing you can do will change that My beloved

So stop running away and run to Me

Crawl into My lap...listen to my heart beat

Beat for you

My child, try for a moment to see yourself the way I see you

I ran across this tonight while going through my prayer journal. At the time i wrote it it seemed irrelevant to me because it was a time that I was so deep in my relationship with Him.

After I had finished writing it I went through it and said God this must be for someone else. I know the greatness You have planted in me...I know that Your love for me is unconditional...You reassure me of my beauty in Your eyes every day...and I know there will never be a time that I don't want to sing Your praises. All while He was shaking His head saying...my child, you will see.

Because He knew not too long from then I would be struggling with every bit of that revelation. And that I would have drifted so far that I couldn't hear Him the same way as before. And at that very moment I would need His reassurance of His love to find my way back.

Yet again Daddy...you have left me broken and simply overwhelmed.....